Due to insistent "ever kulit" demand by my friend Len.I have to re-publish the letter that eventually became an article, that I made that was accepted by Women’s Journal Magazine, a loooong looong time ago….10 years ago I bet???? I made this obnoxious letter that I didn’t even bother to send to the person who is the recipient of my unfathomable feelings…....call it “Young careless unrequited loves...” an attestation that nevertheless I’m not a tyrant… so are you! You’re perfectly fine!!! Life doesn’t stop when you fall...things happen to toughen you up for further complications ahead... so Len, kaya yan…
It’s not planned but it happens. One time or another, we all have gone through being wickedly scarily in love with someone…di ka nag-isa sa iyong kahibangan. Just let go… who knows, maybe you’re ought to be with somebody else or perhaps…soon maging kayo pa rin ng iyong “Edward Cullens” (Twilight ba??!!). A better a more responsible him only for you his “BELLA”. Just wait and let the tides bring you to where you would be the happiest…
WHAT I FEEL FOR YOU
You mean THE WORLD to me... you are the first thought in my head in the morning when I wake up; my last thought before I go to bed. You smile at me in my dreams... when you are sad, I feel sad, and when I see you smile, I feel incredible, like there is no other thing around and all I can see is you.
I love way you look at me, your gorgeous smile, your funny walk, your forever watch, your beautiful eyes the sound of your laugh..... I love the way you get mad, i love the way I don’t understand you at all. I love the way I can be having the worst day of my life and seeing you completely changes my mood. I love how your presence makes me weak and vulnerable, I love you so profusely that it feels heavenly.
That’s my problem... You've got this girl, head over heels in love with you. She'd do anything for you. But for some reason, you don't want to see that. You know it's there, but you just won’t accept it so you try to make her go away. -- Maybe this girl is soooo perfect for you and that really scares the hell out of you, doesn't it?
IT'S REALITY...and sometimes reality is the hardest thing to understand and the thing
that takes the longest to realize. But once it hits you in the face you'll never forget it. It will always be there in your memories and sometimes that is the best way to look at it.
In this weird twisted way, I know you miss me liking you, being the "doormat" who's always waiting for you... not because I want to believe it's true, but because you’ll never find a girl that can put up with you like I did; you'll never find a girl who will care as much as I did, because no one will ever come to waste all their love on someone like you, like I did.
BUT THEN AGAIN....
I keep thinking of how much I love talking to you...How good you look when you smile. I've memorized your face & the way that you look at me..
How much I love your laugh that I day-dream about you off and on, replaying pieces of our conversation; laughing at funny things that you said or did..
I catch myself smiling again at what I imagine.. I wonder what will happen the next time we are together & even though nothing will come out of this....its hard to hold on to something that you know would never be yours in any way you think of, you just have to learn to let go and face the fact that while some good things never last.
